Scatologically Speaking

MDA Camp was not all fun and games—sometimes there was some serious business to accomplish.  I’m talking here about going #2.  For many physically handicapped, the immobility occasionally led to a dry spell, which could cause big problems if it lasted too long.  Therefore, cabins with younger campers were required to have bowel movement (BM) charts that kept careful track of developments, blow by blow as it were.  Cabin leaders would sometimes add as well the names of all the able-bodied in the cabin, to put everyone on equal footing as to knowing everyone else’s business, so to speak.  And with the change to diet and schedule, everyone at camp was at risk for a, ah, slowdown.

Of course this subject could be embarrassing to some, and so frequent fun was made of the whole topic so as to desensitize everyone and remove anyone’s embarrassment.  And it worked!

Bedpans were a common prop in skits and Carnival booths.  Here’re Dean Krone and Mardi Swann in 1977 in front of a Bozo’s Bedpans carnival booth:

 

For campers to strike back at overly watchful attendants – the "Dump on Your Attendant" booth at the Carnival!  From 1983, here’s Tim Coleman, underneath, doing a mechanical safety check on his device, with Liz Schwartz preparing to give it a test run:   

 

For campers with a dry spell, when subterfuge became necessary:  Get “Caca in a Cup” – guaranteed to fool attendants.  It was a funny take off on some sort of advertised ready-made meal in a cup – all you needed to do is microwave it!  It was a funny bit from Tom Musillami.  Unfortunately, I just don’t have a picture of the skit.     

And speaking of caca, the name of the Talent Night show at the 1979 MDA Camp was ................. the "CaCa Cobana".  The top of the sign is cut off, but still identifiable:

Here is the group of older guys in 1979 in Cabins 5 & 6 (which included volunteers Scott Silver, Terry Rozdolsky, and Rich Spangler, and campers Uncle Jake Weier, Bob Schumacher, Rich Berlinski, Jim Gibson, Don Tuttle, Terry Coor, and Mike Kilfoy) who proudly named their cabin "The Hemorrhoid Hilton":

Here's a carnival booth from 1985 – Swab the Deck – which encouraged campers to soak their attendants, who had to put their faces through a toilet seat:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From 1987, here's a skit called "Talking Heads", featuring three guys sitting with their heads coming up through commode toilet seats.  Johnny Angelico is holding the sign, and from the left Jon Franke, Tom, and ?John have their heads in the toilets; Mike Goodman is in the right foreground looking on, Rich Westley is holding the guitar, and Aaron Adams is talking into the microphone. 

 

 

Plugged-up campers needing to produce some “caca” fast could buy a new product called the Crapper, a device that produced, simply in response to a loud clap, a life-like specimen guaranteed to fool an attendant.  Every camper needed one, so said the TV “commercial”.  The bit was a take-off on the widely-advertised device called the Clapper that allows immobile people to turn electronics on and off from their chairs with a loud clap.  Another great bit from Danny & Freddy Martin; note their body posture, from 1988:

Finally, about the most momentous bit in the entire genre.  At the beginning of the week in 1977 at Camp Hastings something remarkable happened.  One of the campers in Cabin 13 delivered a truly enormous specimen, so large it wouldn’t flush and the largest single piece anyone had truly ever seen.  Well, this occurred amidst widespread hoopla in Chicagoland about the appearance at the Field Museum of a traveling exhibit featuring artifacts related to the ancient Egyptian Pharaoh King Tutankhamen, popularly known as King Tut.

Well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, thought Danny Martin and Pat Wilsey.  They immediately recognized the commercial potential of what had dropped in their lap, so to speak.  They promptly disconnected the flush mechanism and encased the toilet in saran wrap, and then proceeded to advertise and conduct tours, for a small fee of course, of the mystical and remarkable King Turdankhamen (pronounced “turd-un-common”), known for short as King Turd.  Wilsey would get all decked out in the iconic red carnival coat to conduct tours, with all the pomp, seriousness, and scientific detail (length, width, weight, chemical composition, etc.) one would get at the Field Museum.  Danny has an audio file of one of these tours, which one day we might be able to figure out how to post up here. 

From the 1977 MDA Camp Hastings Newspaper, titled that week “The Treasure of King Turdankhamen”:

During the years 2732 B.C. to 2721 BC, there ruled in ancient Egypt a pharaoh, belonging to the Loadi Dynasty, named Turdankhamen.  King Turd, as he is still referred to, was known for his three famous bowel movements, “The Royal Loads.”  Their size was legendary....  Strangely enough, one of these ancient, royal turds has reared its ugly, yet historically stimulating head in a commode in cabin 13, resulting in a re-interest in ancient Egyptian colons and sphinx-ters....

It was the funniest running gag of the whole week at Camp, and all the guys in the cabin had a blast every single day with the bit – they laughed so hard they almost soiled their pants.  Mission accomplished!